Flash back Tuesday, to a best of Earnie segment from her birthday two years ago. Pretty much sums up how I feel this week.
It’s been exhausting just going through her bedroom, bathroom and closet. I can’t imagine how overwhelming it must be for children having to go through an entire house. My advise to those of you out there with older parents is this:
- Ask questions about the things in their house that are important to them. Like where did this come from? Why is it important to you? There were many times over the last week that I wished I had known the story on some of Earnie’s pretty things. Just these little bits of information may help sustain you in the days when you are missing them a lot.
- If your parent is up for it, ask them if you can help them go around and mark or make a list of who they would like to have their things go to. Earnie was good at this. Not only will it have meaning to the recipient that Earnie picked it just for them, but it helped me in knowing what to do with it. Just today I was looking at a figurine in her cabinet, turned it over and she had written my brother’s name “Jim” on the bottom. I put it aside in a box of things I am preparing for his son, my nephew Bryan.
- Encourage, a little at a time, for your parent to give their things to people now while they can tell the person the story behind the item and how important that person is to them.
Some people may think this is a morbid topic and that it makes the person feel like you’re ready for them to pack it up for heaven. Quite the contrary, they are sharing the gift of the present. They are helping make things easy for you while leaving a treasure for someone they care about.
One of my favorite quotes by Eleanor Roosevelt sums it up best, “Yesterday is History, Tomorrow a Mystery, Today is a Gift, that is why it’s called the Present.”
My Mother Dear. Enjoy.
Hospitality is in my DNA. I founded Home with a Twist, a daughter’s twist on her mother’s traditions, in memory of my mother to celebrate her life and the gifts she shared with me. Mother loved to celebrate life’s occasions – big and small.
You know, one of the things I think I'm going to have my kids do for me, and that I'd like to to for my parents is this: After the immediate family has chosen special mementos to take from their dead relative's home, I think it would be nice to have a party of close friends to the deceased. I can imagine that many of those guests gave special gifts or went on trips with their friend. The little knick-knacky thing that means nothing to the kids might have tons of meaning to the best friend who laughed over it when it was bought. Also it's a kind gesture a family can extend to someone who is grieving just as much as family for your relative/their friend.
That's a very thoughtful idea, Kathy.